They say it wouldn't be exactly like this. They say tales are simply for entertainment, that spirits and souls wouldn't be mother nature's winds and bright stars in the sky, that a man wouldn't be a charming prince at a ball or Aladdin with a magic flying carpet, that love doesn't quite exist in the way that you expected it to be. I'm not trying to convince the world that Prince Charming fully exists or I've been swept off my feet by a man who kissed my hand after dancing with me because he doesn't and I didn't. Yet, such moments seem like dreams and such memories seem like tales, told from a grandmother who tell stories for the sake of a child to dream.
So as we are sitting here together on the edge of a bed, legs intertwined, bodies facing each others, eyes gazing in our very souls, I can't help but feel something, feel something I myself have never felt before. Even as my heart pulses against my chest, even when the tears travel along my cheeks, there's this feeling inside that I can't seem to identify, a feeling that I can't recall and presumably quite understand.
But while his hands smooth along the strands of my hair, while his fingers graze against the softness of my skin, while his eyes trace every line and curve of my face, I can't seem to stop looking at him, looking into his eyes and see an expression of complete warmth, tenderness, and admiration. It's a look that causes my veins to tingle, my breath to release, and my being to become consciously aware that walls are beginning to shatter before me. Then words are being spoken, a voice so pure I can't help but free myself into a passionate abyss.
He tells me, with eyes so pure and honest, how beautiful I am to him, how I represent a pure work of art, natural beauty with not just a beautiful mind, but a beautiful heart, loving every part of who I am and who I desire to be. He tells me how much he appreciates me and all I embody, how much he has...fallen for me, a blessing in this universe, a kind soul. And as his words spew out of his lips and eyes drown into mine, I feel the walls, all of them that I built to protect my vulnerability, my fears, and the love I have for those who understand, tumble and shatter within my very palms.
I've never heard such words before, never heard such phrases being wholeheartedly addressed to me. No one has ever, ever expressed such meaningful words before, that broke every shield imagined possible and reveal the me I desperately want to protect. It's not just the words spoken, but it's the meaning behind them, and the fact he, as a man who's quite different than the others, who expresses a compassionate, beautiful soul, who wonders about the very light of the world, and created by a harsh reality of truths, conveys and elicits every word spoken. Not once has he made me feel hideous, not once has his hands tortured the flesh of my body, not once has he stolen my virtue, not once has he made me doubt my reason for existing.
Is this why tears escape my eyes? Is it because all the stitches are coming undone, being destroyed by a soul who adores mine?
But then all my of thoughts whisper and then scream at me, at how much I'm starting to fall, to fall for him. To have someone say to me that this is the way I'm supposed to be treated and not how others have treated me in the past, to say that he's definitely fallen for me, to recognize my mind and soul as well as my body…willing to do anything for me, to be anything for me, willing to stay and witness all the rest, is causing everything inside of me to surrender, surrender to him. There may be fears craving to come to light, to not trust, to not be a fool, to not...love, but I can't help but listen to my being and let these tales become reality. Because I realize he not only sees me for who I truly am, but I see him for who he truly is myself, seeing him underneath all the dark humor and sarcastic woes he presents as protection.
So yes, it may not be a fairytale or a magical memory based on childhood dreams and expectations. But what I can say is that something like this exists, someone like him exists. If it didn't, why would he?
What, you don't believe me? See for yourself.